Evil Impire must not triumph

The fact is that the beautiful game itself is in peril. If the dark forces that play hoof and run on their rutted scrubland win through then thousands will see this ‘thing they call football’ on national TV. Children will recoil from the television screen in horror. Mothers will run to shield their offspring’s eyes from the sight of yet another long ball punted into orbit. But it will be too late and a generation will already have turned to stamp collecting or speedway. If you haven’t seen Lincoln in action the best way to describe it as being a bit like the Haxey Hood but without the finesse and the ball skills.

So anyway that is my harvest of sour grapes safely gathered in so what about the game itself? Frankly you just have to accept we defended abysmally, albeit in uniquely difficult circumstances. We were sitting in seats on the far left of our allocation (level with the six yard box) and did not think either of the first two Lincoln goals were offside. The free kick for the first was however a disgrace. The Lincoln player had run out of ideas and breath so he chipped it past Dawson and threw himself on Dawson and then fell to the floor. Linesman duly conned. Otherwise all you can say is it was a freak result.

Torps to start?

Can we do it on Wednesday? Of course we can. Torpey should start and get stuck into them early doors. The atmosphere will be electric even at kick off and if we can get a goal before half time I reckon that will put us favourites to go on and win.

Going back to Saturday the atmosphere around the ground really was quite unpleasant. Gangs of lads stood on every corner as you made your way to the game, if not hoping to have a fight then at least hoping that people would think they were the sort of lads who ‘really would love to if they could just get at the other side’s fans’.

My mate Andy has a radical proposal to sort this recurring problem out and it is this – legalise football hooliganism. One corner of each league ground would be given over to a large pen. Those who wish to enter the pen through the home or away turnstiles would be free to have as many punch ups as they wished with willing opposition. No weapons obviously but otherwise anything goes with no possibility of prosecution - no different to boxing really. One minor rule to mention though is that no-one injured in the pen is entitled to treatment on the NHS. Otherwise off you go - if you really want a fight lads go and have one, nobody’s stopping you. I think this is a first class idea. It would see an end to posturing and threats which would I suspect mean an end to 99% of ‘trouble’ at football matches.

To develop the idea I suggest the FA would regularly send scouts to matches to check out the action in these pens. Those who performed consistently well would be invited to represent their Country in a pen in the corner of a stadium abroad. And like anyone else getting the call up for England they would get a cap. Made by Burberry, obviously.

Up the Iron – We have a part to play too so let’s get behind them.