The RPODE are a small splinter branch of the organisation RPOTME (Royal Protection Of Tall Men Everywhere). The RPOTME however insist that the RPODE are nothing to do with them.
These extremists are known supporters of John Williams, Kevin Francis, Julian Alsop and our very own Steve Torpey. There is simply no place for these people in football, the number of members in the organisation is unknown but quite simply in my opinion, one is too many.
In the seventies this group had members nationwide and the problem was massive, but thankfully nowadays the skilful player is largely on top.
I have worked undercover since the beginning of the season to expose the
members of RPODE and have found two men at the top of the ladder at Glanford Park to be members as well as many others who hold authoritarian roles within the club.
They are Brian Laws (The merciless dictator with a bladder problem) and Dave Beeby (The editor of the club's official site who uses the ‘have your say' section to spread RPODE propaganda).
Single handedly these two men, both in the public eye, are raising the profile of RPODE and this is extremely dangerous. History proves that when powerful man has extremist ideas, problems can arise, Mr Laws has repeatedly refused to substitute Steve Torpey as he is frightened that the other members may try and arrange organised demonstrations against him.
The other man, Mr Beeby is also dangerous as he has managed to be employed as a key man in the media, it is rumoured that this is a plan of RPODE as they want to take over all the newspapers and websites in the area.
However thankfully there is a strong resistance emerging to RPODE, and numerous media sources (such as this very site) have openly criticised the employment of donkey's in football, many have challenged Mr Beeby but he has replied with specially designed RPODE propaganda to poison your mind.
The members of RPODE are dotted all around Glanford Park so no one is safe, if you suspect that there is a member of RPODE in your vicinity of the ground, do not approach them alone, they may try to manipulate you into being a member and you could soon find yourself making ludicrous claims such as ‘Steve Torpey works hard' and ‘We are better with Torpey than without him'. These people are easy to spot as they all wear the RPODE uniform, this uniform can vary in its attire but one aspect always remains the same, they all wear the same ties, for years many have assumed this tie is Scunthorpe United's official tie but I can reveal it is actually the official RPODE tie.
RPODE, you are not wanted at our club, your ideas are dated and we will not let you take this club back to the bad old days of the long ball.
Iron-Bru.net would like to point out that the views expressed in the column are of the columnist Patrick Hill,you can read his views on the Iron every Monday exclusively on Iron-Bru.net.